“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” -Dr. Seuss

surprisebitch:

dating tip: ask them to show you their recently used emojis so you can count your matches and see if you are compatible



angelclark:

A guy named Andrew had a Starbucks Gold card (which gets you a free drink of your choice after you buy 12) and a single goal: to beat the previous world record for the most expensive Starbucks drink ever.

As anyone who has accomplished anything in life will tell you, thorough prep is key to achieving your goals. With 128-ounce glass in hand, Andrew stepped into Starbucks and enlisted the help of his friendly local Starbucks baristas.

Thus, the legend of the Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino was born. Total cost: $54.75. But for Gold-card holding Andrew, it was free.

angelclark:

A guy named Andrew had a Starbucks Gold card (which gets you a free drink of your choice after you buy 12) and a single goal: to beat the previous world record for the most expensive Starbucks drink ever.

As anyone who has accomplished anything in life will tell you, thorough prep is key to achieving your goals. With 128-ounce glass in hand, Andrew stepped into Starbucks and enlisted the help of his friendly local Starbucks baristas.

Thus, the legend of the Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino was born. Total cost: $54.75. But for Gold-card holding Andrew, it was free.



  • Doctor: do you drink or smoke?
  • Me: no
  • Doctor: (under his breath) what a loser




precumming:

when you go to pet a dog and it growls at you

image

(via pocahotnass)



hockeyshorts:

when you forget to click anon

hockeyshorts:

when you forget to click anon



blowjcb:

sext: shit sorry i fell asleep

(via crystallized-teardrops)



kngmnmlst:

kngmnmlst:

MY MUM WENT INTO MY ROOM 
AND SHE THOUGHT I SNEAKED OUT

kngmnmlst:

kngmnmlst:

MY MUM WENT INTO MY ROOM

AND SHE THOUGHT I SNEAKED OUT

(via kngmnmlst-deactivated20140523)





obsessedpleasure:

Obsessedpleasure

obsessedpleasure:

Obsessedpleasure

(via fuckmealittleharder)





tastefullyoffensive:

Fortune cookie wisdom. [x]

tastefullyoffensive:

Fortune cookie wisdom. [x]





James Deen Love-Making

like turning pages of a chapter,
he pressed on
and against her; loose clothing
and the unknowing fear of a stranger
placed the pair in a unique
position of hesitation -

now too close to escape
the arousing curiosity, he commandeered her
toward the floor
like a mate
steers toward its captain,

and never mind
the fuss of unfamiliarity,
there is such a saying to which the touch
of another is enough
to guide the senses toward pure exoneration,
and with the release
of inhibition it was nothing short of
perfection



Another Sea Analogy

like beach glass, her skin’s been placed between the palms
of many, and most don’t know
their touch turns blood and bones into hope;
and when that line runs cold, she’s just as broke
as the bottle first thrown into the sea -
head over heels, she is weak, she is me